falling in love in a coffee shop

well im not really falling in love with a boy in a coffee shop.... i am attempting to fall in love with the GRE which has taken the past 5 hours, but i think im ready for a second date. i've been working on math related problems for the GRE. Going to attempt to take it the 3rd time on April 1st. I've been putting it off, sort of, the last month despite taking a class in it 2x a week. When I am in the class I am completely focused and absorbing the material like a sponge. But not reviewing the material constantly throughout the week, I am sure is not the best thing. So last week I began to study and dedicate my weekends to it. Now I have to start dedicating my week nights instead of watching the latest episodes of my favorite shows. It is pretty much a now or never situation for this last attempt. 

I have been thinking about how important it is for me to get my masters. Before, meaning the last 2 times I took the exam, it wasn't as important. Main reason, I thought I could ace it on my smarts alone ... well that busted. Reason number 2, I was still somewhat bitter about staying in Tallahassee and hoped that I wasn't supposed to really be here and I could just get the heck out. But after months of still being here, I have come to the conclusion that God does want me here and I need to accept it and stop screwing up my future. And, of course after months of this contemplation I have realized that getting a degree in Sports Admin was never my passion. My passion is planning and putting on events. So the degree that does completely fulfill my passion is the Integrated Marketing Communication major. I want to learn the in's and out's of the PR, Advertising, and Marketing field. And... this degree gives me the opportunity to intern as well, which is what i need since I technically didn't intern my last semester of undergrad. 

I have witnessed where all of my fellow classmates have continued their lives outside of our event planning major. Some have gone to companies and are planning events daily. But the majority have become waitresses, working in retail, etc. Maybe they are completely happy with that decision and I commend them for that, but as for me I wouldn't be okay with it. I have spent way to much money and I am knee deep in student loan debt for me not to get a high paying job in Events. So this is my only chance. I have to achieve a really good score and get accepted into this program. It is a necessity. 

So continued prayer and studying I believe will give me the plan that God has lined up for me. I am praying for God to show me his will IN my life, not his will FOR my life. 

On another note, I start leading my first small group this upcoming Tuesday. I am very excited to see what God has in store for this group. It's been a tough road for me through this Christian lifestyle, but yet whose hasn't been. A lot of up's and down's but I think God has given me the down's to appreciate how grateful the up's are. 

Well, my brain is starting to fry with all of this math mumbojumbo that is the GRE. It's almost 9pm so I think I am going to go home and call it a night. 

Much love and God Bless.