it's tough to try motivating yourself when it feels like everyone around you is watching and waiting for you to fail. maybe it's just my terrible perception of certain people around me, but i interpret so many messages as rude, condescending, and to break my motivation.

it's just small things ... like me working out this week. comments from people concerning my weight or my sudden decision to start working out tends to discourage me from doing it. i hate being asked so many questions about something so personal to me. you would think people would be encouraged that another person wants to try living a healthier lifestyle. instead i get asked questions and made fun of. it's not the way someone wants to live, or surround themselves with. but i am put in the position where i cannot avoid it because i am FORCED to be with these people on a daily basis.

it has put a strain on the relationships i have with these people outside the forced interaction though. how can i be friends with someone that isn't supportive of something positive. and these people are always waiting for you to make a mistake so they could shove it in your face. always waiting for you to fail so they can make fun of you. i don't understand why people are like this. are their lives that pathetic that they have to make everyone else feel like nothing to make themselves feel like something.

im surrounded by people the majority of my day who just plain suck. they are people destroyers not people supporters. my challenge to myself is to be a selective listener. but i feel this is going to take a lot of time.