more like falling in love

ive been anxiously awaiting the day where i regain my intense, passionate, and overflowing love for Jesus. I used to be on fire for Christ ... not in a bible thumping-knock on your door kind of way but just so grateful that God sent his son to die for my sins. This one song, by Jason Gray, describes my constant urge to regain the passion and I hope, that with the circumstances at hand in my life right now, this prayer will be answered. 

Here's the song- More Like Falling In Love 

Give me rules
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It ought to be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be

CHORUS

...It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made
Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me

i don't want to go through the motions

this new path of life has not been an easy one thusfar. i have been struggling a lot mentally with what i feel like i should be doing. the worrying and the failed planning has ultimately led me to a lot of stress lately and uncertainty. but the most beautiful thing about all of this, is that through the pain, confusion, and stressful lifestyle God has been shining through and I can finally lift the veil over my eyes long enough to grab his hand while he leads me through the path he planned out for me long before i was born. 


i am normally a crazy planner.... makes sense since it was my undergrad major. all of the failed planning lately has made me realize that God is trying to humble me and teach me to not worry and freak out about tomorrow because he has it under control. 


once i figured this all out and finally was able to see this concept I have truly been able to breathe better. last week was a struggle and now the situations at hand are in no way in my control ... even if i tried. 


im a firm believer in the saying "everything happens for a reason" and this whole dilemma that i am going through will truly work itself out and my future will be planned out in front of me the way God sees fit. 


On another note, I have been thinking a lot lately of how I am barely contributing to society. I haven't indulged myself in any community service or any extra curricular activities for that matter. I have only been focusing on myself, my finances, and my future and all that has brought me are tons of headaches. I'll quote Matthew West and say, "I don't want to go through the motions, I don't want to spend one more day, without your all consuming passion inside of me!" 


I want to feel that burning passion to help people and assist in making the world a better place on person at a time. As a church body, we are feeding the homeless in 2 weeks which I am veryyy excited about. But I need to do more. So I am looking into some community service things I can get my hands on. 


Other than that, work is going well. Mike and Ashley got married yesterday and it was unbelievable. My mom was up visiting last weekend and it was incredible and so warming to have her here. In a month I am going to Western Kentucky for a tournament that I am helping run with Mike. And in December I am going to Colorado for a week to visit Rachel!!! 


Life is making a turn around and I am ... for the first time in my life ... taking it one day at a time. 


Just like Matthew said in 6:34 - "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." 


<3